Go To Him

The irony of choosing our favourite restaurant was not lost on me. It was a 'Mediterranean' themed place, with low cots and tables instead of regular tables and chairs etc. It had been over half an hour since I had been waiting for her. In frustration (and perhaps for the first time in pure frustration) I fished out my pack of Gold Flake cigarettes and asked the waiter for an ash-tray and a matchstick box.

I was halfway through my cigarette when I saw my girlfriend Anna Gupta entering through the gates of the restaurant. I continued smoking, knowing that she hated it. This was not going to be a pleasant meeting.

She sat down, throwing a look of disgust at me and my cigarette. After a few seconds I gave up and quickly put it out in the ash tray. "Why do you smoke?" She asked me.

"Feels good." I said, "Next question please."

"Why are you such an asshole?" She half-screamed.

"Good question, I will answer it later. Now, will you have something?"

It was a good thing she ordered tea, because it was the cheapest item on the menu and I was not in the mood to spend a lot of money on her today. I thought it would be better if we directly came to the main reason we were meeting today, so I asked her, "What is this about?"

"I want you to set me free." She said.

"When have I bound you by anything? And why?" I said, trying to keep the look of shock on my face to a minimum. I knew this day and this conversation was going to come soon, but I had been delaying it and denying it in my mind.

"Because I have found someone who loves me more than you ever loved me."

"Does that mean that I don't love you?"

"No it doesn't mean that, it only means that there is someone who loves me more."

I was annoyed by this line of reasoning, to show my annoyance I lit up a cigarette, I said, "Anna, all of a sudden you come and ask me to set you free, and you say this is because there is some guy (I knew who 'that' guy was) who loves you more than me?"

She was getting irritated by the cigarette smoke, she squinted her head and nodded.

"And you had a boyfriend before me right?" I asked her.

"Yes, why are you asking like this? You already know all about him yaar."

"And you left him because..."

"Because I felt that he didn't love me enough and you loved me more than he did, so I left him and came to you."

"And now you have found some guy who loves you even more than me..."

"What is your point exactly?"

I exhaled, both literally and figuratively, I said, "You have a brilliant scheme of things. You are going to constantly change boy friends until you find that guy who loves you the most, but how are you going to measure that love?"

"What? How dare you...how can you think of such a thing!"

"Mathematical induction," I replied, "Learned it at school."

We sat in silence for a while, I smoked, she fumed. I finally broke the tension by saying, "So you say he loves you more than me? Okay, then I will set you free. Go with him."

She seemed surprised, or was perhaps acting well. Maybe she was expecting more of a fight, maybe she wanted me to beg her to stay and then she would leave. She said "Fine" and slung her bag across her shoulder, getting up to leave. I caught her wrist.

"Before you go," I said, "I want you to know, that I still love you. I love you so much." I relaxed my grip, the features on her face softened. This was what she had come for, and I was giving it to her. I said, in the most sad and dejected voice possible, "But if you think he loves you more, go with him."

She sat down again, and said, "You know it's not like that. I mean, there should be no hard feelings, we are still friends right?" It was like she was reading from a script. I told her, "You know, all of my life, I had been waiting for a girl who would love me the way I loved you."

"But, I did love you...of course now there are problems, but there were times that I did love you the way you loved me, even more so perhaps." She offered.

I continued, without listening to her, "But every girl that I have ever had in my life, breaks my heart and leaves me sad." I gave her my saddest look possible, "What am I supposed to do?"

She got up from her chair and stood next to me, ruffling my hair, saying "Come on, it's okay" etc. After a few minutes of this charade she said, "I am sorry but I really have to go. "

I gripped her wrist again, tightening my fingers around her. "Ouch!" She said, "That hurts! Come on now, leave me, please! I have to go."

I smiled at her and said, "Anna, just one more thing girl. There was a ring that I gave you, you give back your ring to me and I will set you free to go with him."

"Are you serious? That was a gift! Do you really want me to return that?" She eyed me in disbelief. To prove my point I increased the tightness of my grip. "You asshole!" She shouted "You are hurting me! Leave me!"

"Anna, give back that ring to me."

She quickly took out the ring that I had given her from her finger and threw it in the ashtray. "Here, take it!" I let go of her, she asked me, "Happy? What are you going to do now?"

"Without you? I guess I will get by with a little help from my friends."

She left in a hurry. I too smoked another cigarette, paid the bill and left, leaving the ring lying in the ashtray.


(To be continued...hopefully)